Printable Book Club Questions for A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum

We first meet Isra as a seventeen-year-old girl in Palestine. Her family is trying to marry her off, as is tradition. Yet, Isra is a lover of romantic stories and she holds out hope that despite an arranged marriage, she’ll still have love. Let’s talk about first thoughts about Isra and her hope for love.
Isra thinks about her favorite novel One Thousand and One Nights and how the Princess Shera wanted to become human so she could marry Sindbad. On page 14, it says: “Isra didn’t understand. Why would anyone want to be a woman when she could be a bird?” What do you think Isra was truly saying here?
We then meet Deya in 2008 Brooklyn. Her grandmother, Fareeda, is trying to force her to meet suitors so she can marry. But Deya has no interest in a forced marriage and instead wants to go to college. Why do you think that academic and professional goals are seen as a negative quality in women in this story?
Let’s talk about Isra’s arrival to America. In what ways did it immediately become a disappointment to her?
Fareeda is overbearing and is so consumed with the fact that Isra and Adam need to have a boy. But when Isra gives birth to a girl, Fareeda acts like Isra committed a great sin. Let’s talk about why Fareeda was so obsessed with them having a son. How did this add to the pressure of the family?
In what ways are Fareeda and Isra’s mother similar? Why do you think Fareeda didn’t try to develop a better relationship with any of the women in the family? What was holding her back?
Fareed’s daughter and Deya’s Aunt, Sarah, reaches out to Deya in hopes to help her not live a life like her mother Isra. It turns out Sarah ran away from home to avoid being force to marry. What did you think about Sarah and her story? Do you think she made the right choice running away from home? Do you think Isra should have joined her?
On page 141, the curtains are pulled a bit with regards to Fareeda and Khaled’s marriage. He was a drunk and used to beat her often. It all changed when she stood up to him and said she’ll ruin his reputation unless he stops drinking. Why do you think that was a turning point for them? Why do you think she never help to intervene when she knew Adam was beating her? Why didn’t anyone intervene?
Reading becomes an act of rebellion for Isra and Sarah. Let’s talk about how they were bonded by reading and it gave Isra a little bit of hope.
Deya begins to slowly learn more about her parents, especially her mother. Why do you think Fareeda was trying to keep the truth about Deya’s parents a secret? Deya eventually finds out that her father murdered her mother. Let’s talk about this reveal. How did it change the family forever?
When Isra leaves the house in the middle of the night, Khaled explodes at her but Fareeda defends her—for the first and seemingly only time. Let’s talk about the significance of this. But was it too little, too late at that point?
The story ends with Deya finding her freedom and going to college. And Fareeda tells her that she’s changed and she wants to see Sarah again. Do you think Sarah will come back home?
And we finally learn that Isra did try to escape with her children but it seems like Adam caught her. Let’s talk about that.
Oftentimes in the story, the characters say they don’t feel American—even the ones born in America. Let’s talk about that.
What does the title A Woman is No Man mean in the context of this story?